People experience problems nowadays due to small things that they fail to resolve and they blow them out of proportion because they did not know how to resolve things.
Saving a marriage takes dedication, perseverance and the will to save it.
In this article, I am going to detail the things that you can do and then if you are dedicated, you will eventually make a breakthrough.
At first, it may seem like generic advice from a random internet blog but I have done this before so, do not stop reading, for the sake of saving your dream boat.
Welcome to my couch, call me Phil and let’s see what we have. Spoiler alert: IT HAS WORKED BEFORE ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS. The trick always lies in communication and how you present yourself to the other.
- Compassion Is Key
When you start seeing problems, you need to stop and listen to what your spouse is saying and see everything from her point of view.
The reason why couples have problems resolving things is that they do not want to listen to what their spouses have to say.
If it is hard for your spouse to talk about what is bothering them, talk about what is bothering you and then maybe they will open up too and then you can start finding solutions.
Also, when you are doing this, do not raise your voice. Compassion should be the key ingredient.
- Control Your Temper
When you are talking to your spouse they may say something that will make you angry or defensive. Do not interrupt them, just stay silent and let them rant until they are done and then ask politely what they want to do.
After that, they will have calmed down enough to be reasoned with. People who have bottled up stuff will have a hard time listening because they will be thinking about what they want to say rather than what you are saying.
- Mirroring and Eye Contact
When we talk about mirroring, we are referring to a technique where you show that you understand and then apologize without being sarcastic or defensive and identifying with the complaint being presented. That way, she gets the feeling that you understand exactly what is going on.
Eye contact is the key to showing interest and when you are looking at someone while they speak, they will get the feeling that you can actually understand them even better than when you are not. Eye contact will help people feel your empathy.
Eye contact will help people feel your empathy.
- Touch and Initiate Intimacy
When people touch it creates certain warmth and intimacy is known for dissolving the hard feelings that would have ultimately created a breakup.
FUN FACT: When people hug and touch there is the release of a certain hormone which makes people love each other and initiates trust.
- Control Emotions and be Open
When you are talking, you need to take deep breaths in between to make sure that your emotions do not overspill and that they do not get in the way of you two making up your relationship.
If you let the emotions come out every time, your partner won’t say anything about anything that triggers wailing even if it’s important.
- Argue like an Adult
When you are arguing about some things, you need to know that arguing is an art and that when you argue in a way that frustrates your partner, you make them angrier every minute you open your mouth. You need to keep the arguments in check and they should not be condescending or sarcastic.
You need to keep the arguments in check and they should not be condescending or sarcastic.
It’s kind of funny to say something sarcastic and watch her stammer, blink and storm away but she will hate you for rendering her speechless like that and repairing that damage is not funny at all.