A lasting relationship is not about how long the time was spent with each other, but the time that was worth remembering.
He urges to be with him grows stronger. The thought of how magnificent and appealing he is would affect you, mentally and physically.
The way he trails you with kisses – slow and sweet. The excitement he brings as you anticipate his kiss because every kiss is always a different experience. Kisses and hugs are enough to communicate the unsaid words.
Now, Close your eyes.
Think of a person who has made you feel secure and contented. Someone who has made you laugh on the silliest jokes. Someone who would spend time with you even if there is nothing to talk about and someone who you run to in times of sadness and joy.
Have you got a person in mind?
Four Factors Why You Are Attracted To Him/Her
- Close Proximity
The more you interact with a person within a short distance, the more likely you will develop feelings for the person. Proximity is important in a relationship, but just because an individual is always with you does not mean you would acquire a positive increase in the development of the relationship.
There are more factors besides the distance of a person that works wonders in a relationship such as the interaction and comfortability – are you comfortable talking to the person? Are you willing to spend time with the person without any feelings of the obligation involved?
- Same likeness
They say opposites attract like how opposite magnets attach together while two identical magnetic poles repel.
Studies have found how a relationship is more successful when both partners have almost the same common interests and hobbies than couples who do not have the grounds of shared interests at all.
A possible explanation is that two like-people would be more understanding of the situation because they would know what goes through the mind of the other. It would explain how twins can sometimes be in sync with their actions and thinking.
Imagine interacting with a stranger, you don’t know him/her well but you would base your judgment on the stranger’s appearance. Assumptions would arise such as ‘she’s a snob’, ‘she seems to be friendly’, etc.
“I fell in love with her physique” could be commonly heard from men. We are attracted to someone by their physical attractiveness. A study was found that men are more likely to look for physical features than women.
Most women were revealed to be concerned about the height of the opposite sex. They would likely be attracted to people who make them feel important and who possesses a sense of humor.
Have you ever noticed how couples would look alike as times pass by? A study found that the majority (or all) people look for the same physical appearance without meaning to do so. Or, we unconsciously get attracted to people with some physical traits we possess. It may be because of the need of familiarity – what’s recognizable is safe from harm.
Superiority and/or rewards is one of the reasons why a person goes in a relationship – any kinds of relationship for that matter. Relationships are a give and take process, you need to be willing to give but you would want something in return. You shouldn’t feel obligated, it’s more of a mutual care – an instinct.
An example of this is group projects inside the business environment. The workload would be divided into the number of people in the group and everyone has to make contributions – review and proofread drafts, etc – to acquire a successful product.
Another instance is when a man courts a woman for months, he would buy flowers and chocolate in exchange for obtaining her approval to start a relationship.
A study found that most women look for a man who is powerful – rich and smart, because of the need to be financially stable and secure. It gives them a sense of protection for their future.
These factors make up the reasons we are attracted to someone but this is not enough to have a relationship that is worth your while which is why couples have been raving about a book called ‘1000 Questions for Couples’ by Michael Webb.
About ‘1000 Questions for Couples’
This book would give extensive information about the magic of attraction and what underlies in the mind of the person. With the help of studies that would back up the effectiveness of the book.
A psychologist named Arthur Aron made a series of 36 questions for two complete strangers to answer together, he succeeded in producing an intimate relationship from scratch.
This has intrigued Michael Webb and he decided to produce the book, ‘1000 questions for couples’.
Just because you’re in a relationship with your partner, does not mean you know them much better. Getting to know your partner would not stop, it’s a constant process as long as you two continue to interact
The goals of the book are for the couples:
- to build a strong and meaningful relationship
- to keep the fire burning – intimacy is still the same as the beginning of your relationship
- to have an understanding of a persons’ behavior
- to have an opportunity to spend time together through in-depth conversations
- to know more of a person; their insights, feelings, experiences, etc.
The book does not contain simple questions such as, ‘what color would you describe our relationship and why?’. The questions would be more situational and/or deep that involves thinking through the answers carefully. It is a conversation starter suitable for any relationships – for you to get to know more of another person.
Few questions such as:
- What do you think is your best physical asset?
- Do you have any mistakes in your life which you regret so much? If you were given a second chance, what would you have done?
- What do you consider as the best thing anyone has ever done for you before we met?
- What is your opinion on faith and destiny?
- Can you tell me something about yourself that you have not shared with anyone else, including your best friend or maybe even your parents?
Content of Michael Webb’s 1000 Questions for Couples
The questions were divided into 22 chapters which are:
Personality, Feelings, and Emotions: In this chapter, your partner’s thoughts and character are intended to be discussed. Their behavior when they face a particular situation and their mental state when conflicts arise.
Favorites: This will prioritize the things your partner cherishes, the simplest elements such as their favorite memory with you, the preferred dish you have cooked, your actions that make them happy, etc.
Pets: Questions that might be about the possibility of owning an animal. A study has found that couples who own a pet, are more expressive because of the responsibility of taking care of a third ‘individual’.
Attractions: The factors that make up a persons’ attractiveness to someone will be looked over and this would help review the consistency of both partners in the reason they are attracted to each other.
Health, Food and Well Being: Concern about starting a healthy lifestyle together and the willingness for change; how to improve and at the same time, help each other to buy healthy food, exercise, etc.
Vacations: This section mentions the importance of being aware of the preferred time/s or date/s your partner might want to chill. As people would say, you should have time to relax and unwind.
Morals, Convictions, and Beliefs: Since two partners grew up in different environments, conflicts would arise. Being aware of your partner’s judgments and/or opinions on certain issues will make you more sensitive.
Religion and Spiritual Matters: The cultures practiced since childhood will be adapted in adulthood. So, it is important to discuss to have a common ground if ever conflicts of beliefs would arise, it will help the couples to be open-minded.
Car and Driver: Some couples have issues about the car; who drives and sits in the passenger seat – so this needs to be resolved to avoid petty-less arguments.
Holidays and Celebrations: There would be conflict especially when the couples would have different religions – different holidays and celebrations -, a possible hurdle for couples.
Home and Home Life: The responsibilities in the household and both partners view on the importance of having a healthy environment; both physical and mental.
Past and Future: A section to know the vision and plans of both partners for their future and what they may want to happen. To also share past experiences that may be humorous or crucial in your partner’s life.
Hobbies and Entertainment: A category which gives importance to acquire a broader knowledge of your partner’s interests in physical activities, movies, etc. To also try it out to have a new way to spend time together.
Love, Romance and Date Nights: In this chapter, the preferred setting of your partner for a date will surely be discussed. If your partner prefers to; stay home, eat in a restaurant, watch in a movie theater, etc.
Friends and Family: Disagreements are present because of this. It will help you get to know more of your partner’s insights and/or opinions concerning you and your partner’s relationship with other people.
Communication: Issues about lack of initiative and/or the way your partner expresses his feelings – the reason behind this would be talked over.
Career and Education: Your partners’ dreams and aspirations in life, and problems in the workplace would be discussed.
Money: Money is known to be one of the most frustrating arguments couples would fight about. To give your opinions on how your partner handles money and savings.
Relationships – Past and Recent: To be aware of the likes and dislikes of your partner in the past relationships, or experiences relating to this.
Children and Child Rearing: Readiness of both partners to discuss making a family or increasing the number of children.
Wedding and Honeymoon: To know how prepared both partners are to step up at a higher level of their relationship.
Sex: The desires and frustrations may arise when talking about the improvement of the couples intimate relationship.
After these questions are answered, I can guarantee how it would effectively change your relationship with your partner because the success rate of relationships igniting once again is high. As Jasper Fforde once said, ‘Never underestimate the capacity for romance, no matter what the circumstances’.
Take note, verbal communication is a key for this relationship to work. Open up and be heard, express yourself truthfully. Non-verbal communication should also be observed because it can help you in determining if the other person is uncomfortable during the situation. In fact, non-verbal actions are known to give out signs on how the person feels.
About Michael Webb
Michael Webb is a best-selling author of ‘The Romantic’s Guide’ which is an international bestseller in multiple languages and in its 10th printing. He has also published 18 books, that received positive reviews from readers.
He is knowledgeable in the field of relationships and the right way to solve an issue. He has been featured in Oprah Winfrey on the year 2003, a month of February wherein he discussed rekindling relationships. After that publicity, he would receive reviews and features from different magazines like Red book, Marriage, and Cosmopolitan.
The Book ‘1000 Questions for Couples’ is only $27! There will also be a free E-book of ‘101 Romantic Ideas’ and ‘The Newlyweds Guide To a Happy Marriage’. Not only that, there is a 60-day money back guarantee if you were not satisfied with the book.